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| It's been a long time xanga.
Well, somehow I got inspired to try and start this up again. To be honest it was from reading all of Yoly's blogs. She kept up with it so well and basically uses it to get everything out of her head and not talking to people. I need that too.
I've been afraid to write things... anything. I haven't picked up a pen in so long. I havent been able to type keys to write things down from my head anymore. Fear of what people would think about the things that I would write. I never used to be like this. But then again... I never used to be like a lot of things.
I just find myself wishing... wanting... to go back in time and relive it all again. Not so much high school. The homework and projects I could live without.  I just miss the people. The tight bond that tied us all together. Then people left, leaving gaps and holes in us. And then everybody was pulled apart. We still keep contact yeah. But it's not the same. Not seeing their face... their expressions... touching them... knowing everything that happened in their life.
I miss them...
There will be nights when I just lay down in my bed and think back. Back when things were easy and happy. Back when choices were simple. Back when I really knew who I truly was...
lock the last open door-
my ghosts are gaining on me
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| http://community.webshots.com/user/arisefromtheashes
Is there any point to having a xanga anymore? Ha, I don't even know. I
realized that I haven't logged onto this thing in like a month.
On Friday, I finally slept over Yoly's house again  .
She has a demon possessed kitty... oh no wait... sorry... 'puppy'.
Being since she calls him that and he actually responds to it (ayi).
After I dropped myself off we went for a walk to White Castle with
Gracie and Gianfranco.
And on the way, I would see all these cigarette cases laying on the
ground. So I would start saying what they were (oh the joy of Eckered)
"Parliament menthol... Marlbolo (hey.. i can say it, not spell it)
Ultra Lights 100s... and this was Gracie and Yoly ---> *smile and
nod* And then Yoly surprises me in her own little way of seeing White
Castle wrappers and saying in really really quick breaths, of what it
was containing.
I saw Daniel... along with Hilda... saw a chinese man speak spanish
which for some reason I found amusing. It was so quiet back there, but
Yoly says it's because Hilda was there. Oh, and by the way... Hilda
scares me...lol...
Then we realize the time and have to run back ten-eleven blocks so that
me and Yoly could catch our movie.... the exorcism of Emily Rose.
Ayiiiiiiiiii.... that's not normal... Me and Yoly... terrified... each
time the scene shifted... we'd sink all the way back into our sheets
and move our hands over our faces... and then this happened:
Yoly: "Graccceeeeeeee...... can we pray!???"
Me: "Oh hell no.... where are our Bibles!??"
We come back... watch a little bit of the Skeleton Key on Yoly's
laptop. It was around midnight when we snuck out of the house with
shaving cream and eggs and just startd walking. We were originally
going to be egging peoples houses... but nah that didnt work.. The
shaving cream got on my pants (gracies fault.. rawr) and the eggs we
got all over us (ewwie)...
When we snuck back in, we started prank calling all these random
people, while doing a threeway (on the phone!... ewwie... lol). And
this one woman, could tell she was African American because of her
voice, and she just started going "Oh you wanna play games, huh? You
wanna play games... Oh, I got a game for you..." and then just kept
repeating... We were able to go to sleep as soon as the demon
kitty/puppy stopped attacking our feet through the blankies.
Next day, my dad tooks us to Jones Beach and Robert Moses Beach.
Gianfranco got a splinter... and we ran into the waves... me.. not
caring that i had jeans haha.. hopefully we can go again this saturday
and actually wear our bathing suits.. and bring frikin towels...
Pictures are all the way at the top... haha.. yes i made another one...
<3 love you guys
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| Number Five -----> http://community.webshots.com/user/crimsontsuki
Why hello there xanga. Been awhile. Yeah, and the only reason why I'm updating is because of Yoly  . Yeah yeah, thank me later.
Now let's see. What's new in the life of Gracie? Oh, wait I know.
Gracie got a job. I started working at the Eckered's that's in walking
distance from my house, the one on old town road. I believe it was
after we came back from the Amish trip that I started to work.
Well it was very nerve wracking of course, but I'm slowly getting the
hang of it. There were three managers. Frank, Al, and Jay. Frank is
basically like the main one. But he's an (as my dad puts it) an old
fart, and as all the customers call him a mean and grumpy person. But,
I've actually seen in the past two weeks that he does have a heart...
somewhere buried in there... deep in there...
Al is the pakistan manager. He's basically the one that I like the
most. He's really funny and will make sure that you have stuff to do to
keep you entertained. Although, he has a tendency of giving me new
nicknames, such as 'princess', and 'shorty'. And he likes to tease
everybody about certain things, trying to get reactions out of them.
Jay was the first manager that I had when I came to work. He basically
let you do whatever you wanted to do. He was one of the most laid back
managers we had. And I say was, because he quit on Saturday.  And not only that but Ati left and Rachel is also leaving soon for college. So, I'm going to be used a whole lot more.
Basically I've been doing the cash register a lot a lot. Occassionally
doing stuff on the floor when one of the new girls is doing the
register instead. One day, somehow I managed to be short 36 dollers in
my door. Yeah, I don't know how that happened. But, I've been better.
On Saturday, I went with Yoly to go and see Red Eye. HEHEHEH. See, I
miss my best friend... a lot... But if only she had WAITED for me to go
and see DARK WATER... but noooo.. hehe... well... we found
another one... fog... heaven help us lord.. oh wait.. and also those
two shows on tv, that scared the crap outta us.
So, anyway I got to see Yoly's demon possessed kitty. Yeahhh.. pictures
and videos galore. He is soo cute, but he scratches you up like a
scratching post. Well, Onee and Imouto now you can see what he looks
like when I put them up.
I miss all my friends so much... I miss seeing them everyday and laughing and crying with them... </3
| | |
| - the secretThe family reunion was very interesting. It was on Saturday, and I went
thinking that I was going to be bored to tears. Boy, was I wrong.
My Aunt Margaret came in our car with us. No one had any idea on how to
get to where we were supposed to go. My mom has 12 brothers and
sisters. The reunion was taking place at one of my mother's brothers
sons (boy this stuff gets confusing) place. Eventually we found it,
after a few wrong turns here and there, by finding the Byler mailbox.
As was expected, the women were all sitting underneath a tent, and the
men were on the porch. Their eyes were watching us as we came out of
our cars. And I mean, all of their eyes. I just stayed back and
followed my mom as we went through the whole line of amish women,
shaking their hands and saying hello. Of course with my aunts it was a
bit more friendlier, with them standing up and commenting about
something concerning me. I even smiled and shook the hands of the girls
who were somewhere around my age. They were around all ages there. When
we went to say hello the men, I stayed just a little bit more farther
back.
I sat next to my mom who was talking to her sisters catching up, and
observing everyone around me. And they were doing the same thing right
back at me. To my hair, to my shirt, right down to my jeans with a hole
in them. The little kids around me were staring at my necklace and
rings on my fingers.
I get so envious when I hear them all talking in amish. My mom can
understand it pretty well, but can't speak it that good. I want to
learn it so bad...My Aunt... umm Deena... Martha...gaahh I can't
remember which one, said something in Amish to a little girl in a green
dress that was near my feet. And she extended her hand and opened her
palm to reveal so many bruises and scars and cuts on it. My mom
recoiled and I asked what happened.
Apparently, this little girl had got her hand caught in a washing
machine when she was only two years old. She just recently had surgery.
I'm not sure what their washing machine's look like, but it must've
been pretty bad by the way that mom was reacting. I felt so bad for the
little girl, because she quickly took back her hand and tried to hide
it.
There were many little kids there. And so many had like six or seven
brothers and sisters... its insane. I started to notice, that the moms
would be talking while the older siblings would be taking care of the
younger ones. There would be a five year old carrying around a baby
everywhere, and then would pass it to the next sibling.
My dad said that when I was little that I would run around with the
other kids (completely doesn't remember this) and that they would be
looking after me. That they dont' really keep a close eye on their kids
as us "english" (amish word for people who aren't amish) parents do.
Mis padres were a little protective of me though and would try to keep
an eye on me.
Once when I was little, I was at my Aunt Martha's house. And there was
a big black dog eating garbage. I was petting it and it was wagging
it's tail. But then somehow, I raised my hand to point towards the
garbage and BAM, the dog jumped and closed its mouth on my hand, and
his teeth started digging into my skin. All I remember was that I was
sideways on the ground, screaming, trying to pull my hand away, and I
look up and I see all the Amish men running towards me. *chuckles* I
think of it now and I just keep laughing.
Anyway, back to present... I must've been sitting there for an hour or
two, I got up and went to call Yoly. I was on the phone with her for a
bit, came back and my mom was gone. Not wanting to sit there all by
myself I went to my dad on the porch.
Lunch came soon, and the men were served first. I noticed that two of
the men on line, did not have beards (means their not married) and were
around my age. I swear I was seeing double, so they had to be twins.
And yes... I'll admit it they were cute. They also kept looking at me,
turning towards each other, saying something, then glancing back at me.
Very unnerving.
While the women waited, it finally dawned on my aunts that I was the
youngest cousin. My mom was the very last sister to have a child, which
makes me the youngest out of all of them. The closest one I have is 21.
During this, one of the girls kept glancing at the one of the cute
guys, and doing all these things that made me come to believe that I
was watching an Amish courtship before my eyes (awwww). After the men
were done, the women went. Mom sat at a table with her sisters, while I
was sitting on a chair right behind her. The amish women sat down all
around me, and I felt soo shy, I couldn't say a thing.
While I was eating, I looked to the side, and saw one of the boys
walking from the barn. These two little toddlers were following him,
and kept reaching and grabbing his hands. He kept shaking them off
though and tried to walk faster. I dunno if he was doing it playfully
or if he meant it.
A little girl sat next to me, and she looked so familiar. Then it
dawned on me. The last time I came to the family reunion was when I was
12. And there had been these two little girls, they must've been like
four or five. They only spoke Amish, not a word of english. And for
some reason, they clinged to me and I were by my side the whole day.
They kept talking to me in Amish, but I couldn't understand a word that
they were saying... just kept smiling and nodding. I remembered that
their names were Sarah and Mary. The girl who was seated next to me was
Sarah. She was now around nine years old.
We went walking down the road a little bit, exploring Eli's son's crops
(does that make him my cousin? gahh... im related to everybody their
somehow.. that's all I know).
When we came back, the men had begun to play some kinda game where
there was a board and you had to throw these little metal rings inside
the holes in the board, and it had all these rules and stuff. One of
the men noticed us coming back, walked up to us and said he noticed
that we liked walking. He said that if we went a certain way, that
there was an amish graveyard that had been started fifteen years ago.
We gladly went and explored it.
It was so immesnely peaceful up there. I knew that somehow these people
had been my relatives. Dad remarked on the way that the Amish bury
their dead. They put a normal headstone, but then they put another
block at where their feet are. When we came across the stillborn
babies, it looked like they were in cradles. Dad starting going off
saying that it looked liked they were all sleeping, and when Jesus
comes again their going to wake from their slumber (dunno the verse).
We come back to see that some of the women, and a few of the men, had
started with a volleyball game. The only sad thing was they were
playing with a soccer ball instead of an actual volleyball .
I'll admit that yes I did take some pictures... which you are NOT
supposed to do. (In case you don't know.. the commandment in the Bible
where it says not to make any graven image or idol... the amish believe
that if a picture is taken of their face or something like that, that
it becomes an idol... So technically you can take pictures, but be sure
that you don't get there faces... This is also why, the little girl's
dolls don't have any faces either). All my pictures were far away shots
so I didn't get any any of their faces, thank goodness.
Dad and I kept watching them play, and noticed that some of the women's
hair were coming out of their caps. And they are not allowed to cut
their hair... It was sooooo long... One of them had to sit down and
take it out completely to put it back in. Really reeally long... and
yes I got a picture of that.. I had to...
After coming back, I went to my mom who was playing cards with her
sisters. I sat on the bench next to one of the little girls. Then Sarah
pulls up a chair and sits next to me as well. A few minutes pass and
then I feel a small hand on my wrist, lightly shaking it. I tilt my
head to see Sarah looking at me. She asked if the cell phone in front
of me was mine. I shook my head smiling saying that it was my Aunt
Emma's (English).
I asked her what her name was and got a confirmation that it was Sarah.
I smiled and said that I had met her the last time I was here, to which
she gave me a puzzled expression. A few minutes passed again, and then
I feel a slight nudge in my side from the little girl sitting next to
me. I thought that she had just accidently brushed her elbow against
me, so I kept my head focused on the cards. Yet, two minutes later it
happens again only harder and I look down.
"What's.... your.. name?" It was sooo cute how she asked it. Her
english was shaky and her voice came out in a whisper. I think I was
grinning and I told her that it was Grace Ann. Her's was Melinda's and
she was seven years old. I found out two seconds later, that Melinda
was one of Sarah's younger sisters. That Sarah had three brothers and
three sisters. Oiiiii.
Then we got in all these weird little conversations.. about Sarah's
poision ivy on her arms... Melinda's love for candy... their english
was so cute... When my attention would turn away from Sarah, she'd
lightly put her hand on my leg and keep shaking it, quitely saying
"grace ann...grace ann.." until I turned my head back towards her
direction. And I couldn't help myself, but I had to figure out if they
were ticklish or not (all my friends know how i am lolol). And it turns
out that they were veryy ticklish..
They kept on laughing and trying to cover their sides. Then my mother,
happened to hint them, telling them that I was ticklish as well. Next
thing I know, I'm being tickle attacked by two little amish girls. I'm
knocked off the bench and pinned down to the ground as they tickle me
wherever they can. I took the clip out of my hair, to make sure that it
woudn't slam into neither of their faces.
As I'm partially laying on the ground, Sarah takes my clip off of the
table and looks at it strangely. I explained that it's used to put your
hair up and then she nodded in acknowledgement. I remarked about the
girl I saw putting her hair up and was saying that I wished I had hair
that long. I asked Sarah how long her hair was. "About as long as
Mom's".. My mouth dropped at that one. Melinda kept tickling my bare
knee (hole) while Sarah began playing with my hair, putting my clip in
it, in all these weird styles.
I sat indian style on the floor and Sarah stayed behind me, wrapping
her arms around my neck, and nuzzling her cheek against mine. She then
noticed my hands and reached down to bring them closer to her face. She
looked at my rings and asked why I had so many of them. Then asked the
same about my necklace. She kept running her fingers over them
curiously. Amish women aren't allowed to wear jewelry.
"Do you want to have some ice cream, Grace Ann?" Sarah asks suddenly.
The men had made homemade ice cream, directly from ice and cream. I
nodded and stood up. Sarah and Melinda took both my hands and led me to
the porch, where we all got our bowls. We sat back down and started
eating (yummy!)
My ice cream however, wanted to melt very very quickly. Melinda kept
smiling at me and pointed whenever my ice cream started to spill over
my bowl. All the while I would reach my hands out and keep tickling
them when they weren't looking. I wasn't paying attention when Melinda
pointed to my bowl again. I laughed and quickly scooped it up with my
spoon, thinking the crisis had been averted. But Melinda was still
smiling and looked down at my lap. Oh, it just so happened that I had
spilled ice cream all over my leg. Then a short while afterwards,
Melinda happened to do the same thing. I began to notice that Melinda
was really really quiet.
Sarah led me over to the swing that they had, while Melinda kept
eating. I didn't realize this until we left but the house that we were
at, was really their house. So does that make them my second cousins??
gahh.. One of my uncle's grandkids, Josh I think his name was, started
to follow us around as well. He was around Sarah's age I believe.
Melinda soon joined us, taking a hold of my hand again and not letting
go.
After a few minutes, Sarah asked if we all wanted to play house. I
asked where, and she said a word that I didn't understand. Once again
she took hold of my other hand and led me to someplace that was hidden
in the bushes. There was something of a little tree house with a slide
and a semi monkey bar set there. Three little boys were currently
occupying it, and kept watching me as we approached.
Melinda kept a hold of my hand as we watched everyone going down the
slide. They all were laughing as I purposefully kept making noises
about the way that they were going down the slide. It was rather funny.
All these amish people have such frikin pretty blue or brown eyes.
Dunno where I got green from.
Me, Sarah, Melinda, and Josh came out from the playhouse thing and
Sarah asked what we should do now instead. Josh suggested that we play
tag, to which Sarah asked how to play that. Josh quickly instructed her
on how to play and they began. While they were doing that Melinda was
tugging on my arm and was tugging me towards the house. I kept asking
her what she wanted to show me, but I got no response... just more
tugs. So I followed her and let her lead me into the house.
As we entered, there was a little boy there... I think around four or
five. He had pale pale blonde hair and sea blue eyes. Seeing me and
Melinda, he reached out his little hand and grabbed my other hand.
Melinda led me to one of the doors, opened it to reveal stairs. I
continued to let her guide me as the little boy kept his grip on my
hand and followed as well.
I think what Melinda wanted to show me was all of their bedrooms. She
led me into each one and waited till I said something, anything, before
moving on to the next room. After we went through each and every single
room, I led us back to the stairs, and we went down them slowly, with
me trying to make sure that neither of them fell.
As we came out, all the Amish men and women were lookingat me smiling.
One man even came over and chuckled saying that it looked like they
were stuck to my side. I looked around to find Sarah and saw her, with
Josh, setting up that game thing that the men had been playing. We
walked over and sat down next to the three blonde haired boys that were
in the playhouse before.
Sarah was remarkably good at the game and beat Josh every single time.
The boys next to me, kinda wanted my attention, and went to get another
board, putting it right next to Sarah and Josh's. One of them looked at
me and asked if I was married, to which I coudln't stop giggling at.
Mom had been saying that probably some girls my age would be married
and have kids by now.
Both games kept going back and forth. The little boy that I had picked
up in the house, kept looking at my breasts. And he kept raising his
hands and touching them. It kept scaring the crap out of me and I
continued to lightly pull his hands away and covering myself up with my
hands. But still, he kept moving his hands down my sides and to my
butt. The only Amish word I know is for 'no' so I kept saying that...
but it didn't do much good. I think the reason is, because they dont'
really see much skin from the women there. Their dresses cover up their
curves. And I was wearing a kinda tight shirt, with spaghetti straps.
(Note to self: wear more clothes)
Next, the little boy kept putting his hands on the hole in my knee and
pulling and pulling, trying to make it bigger. In the end, he did
lol... it's a whole lot bigger now. He also started to reach for my
necklace, saying something in amish. I asked the one who asked me if i
was married, what he was saying. "He says he's going to take the flower
off" And yeah.. I took my necklace off.
Melinda was snuggled into my side and was starting to do something (?)
but I heard her mom call out to her and start to say something in
Amish, which caused her to stop.. to which I am thankful for. Not only
was Sarah really good at this game, but the two little boys who were
playing it as well, got the litte rings in the holes almost every
single time.  After a few games, to
which Sarah beat him in all, they sat down next to us, while the men
got back up and proceeded to play. I believe it was Sarah and Melinda's
father who came up to me next, smiling, and asked if I had learned any
Amish words.
It was here I asked Sarah, if Melinda spoke English since I hadn't got
much of a respone from her. "Sometimes"... Melinda moved so that she
was in my lap and I wrapped my arms around her, hugging her close. Josh
was trying to get Melinda to talk to him, but she was kinda scared of
him and kept moving back into me. The boys next to us, started to
wrestle around, and every few seconds looking up at us and smiling.
Melinda played around with my rings, taking them off and putting them
on her fingers, then putting them differently on my fingers. Sarah did
the same thing when she was little.
Then, Mary came over with their baby brother in her arms. Mary's eight
or nine now. She smiled at me, and without a word put her baby brother
in my arms, to which I was a little bit shocked about. The sisters
would keep fighting about who would get to hold the baby, and then she
gives him to a complete stranger like me? I held him for a few seconds,
but then quickly gave him back, fearing that he would cry.
The next sister I met was the smallest one, who was two years old. All
I remember was that it was a strange name and started with a L. And she
became obsessed with trying to take my rings off... hehe... she wasn't
able to.
I got up with Melinda and Lucinda (not sure..) and went through their
house again, this time leading me outside. There we saw a kitty. And as
we got closer it just so happened that she was a mama and her kittens
were all over the place. They looked exactly like Oneechan's kitties. I
think Lucinda and Melinda caught on to how much I liked kittens,
because the next thing I knew I was sitting on the ground, with six
kittens squirming in my lap. I picked one up and brought one to dad,
but before I could even say anything, I got a "No you can't bring one
home."
Next, we started to pet their horse. The very first horse I ever petted. And then we petted their dog.
Soon, it was time for us to go. Sarah and I were hugging, and she
started to hug me tighter, whispering "I don't wanna forget you Grace
Ann..." I had a ponytail thingie on my wrist, and I gave it to her. I
still hope that she was allowed to keep it, even though my mom said
that it would be just fine.
So, even though I was attacked by amish children *giggles*... it was
the most fun that I've ever had at an Amish family reunion. I really
learned how truly different we are, and just wish that I had gotten to
know them all better. It was nice to know that all the Amish trusted me
with their kids, and kept smiling and nodding when they saw me with
them. With Josh though, he was acting a little rough with Sarah and
everyone was keeping an eye on him.. lol.. which I thought was kinda
funny.. but anyway... yeah.. that was my family reunion.. yay..
| | |
| I <3 mis amigas
Thursday was the first day of finals. After Anatomy, all of us seniors
had to serve an afterschool detention. And boy oh boy was it fun *says
in sarcastic voice*. After it kept droning on thanks to Pastor Greco,
we were finally free for the day.
Sandy, Yoly, and I escaped from school and went walking to KB Toys.
School uniforms and the heat, yeah they don't mix. So, we're walking
the long way and we pass a Mandee's store. We all decided 'what the
heck?' and went inside. Took a couple of funny pictures in there, such
as a mannaquin that has a two feel long neck and Yoly attempting to
figure out which way a thong is supposed to go on you.
As we're leaving the store, and walking in the parking lot all of a
sudden we hear a noise. We had been talking before, so we weren't
exactly sure what the noise was saying. But what we were able to hear
was a cat call followed by a "schoooooool girrrrrrrrrrls". We started
looking around trying to see where the noises were coming from. Yoly
steps up and yells "Show yourself!" Two seconds later, the car pulls up
near us, with the people in it laughing. Yoly turns, "Hey guys... I
think I found them.. RUN!!!" And run we did.
We arrived at KB Toys, with Peggie and Bryan soon following. We stayed
in there for such a long time, taking so many pictures and playing with
all the toys possible. However the people who worked there kept coming
up and asking if we needed help. To make it short, they were trying to
kick us out. The manager came up to us and said that we were making a
mess, when we really weren't. We left ten minutes later.
Coming back to the school, we were walking down Middle Country (i
think? i dunno.. leave me alone lol) talking again. Then Yoly looked
past me and started to say "Gracccee... look to your" and then I hear
this whole group of guys laughing. Looking over there were six guys in
a really really small car, all looking and smiling and grinning lewdly
at us. They were all saying a jumble of things that we couldn't hear.
*growls*.
Friday we had the precalc final. Oh yeah... right... we all did soooo
good on that thing. When that was over Yoly, Sandy, Becky, Rachel,
Nichan, and I all headed out again. We went the same way, and got
catcalled again from this dude in a really really big truck. Horny
bastards...
We all bought rafts from KB Toys again, with the same people there. I
was scared that we were going to get kicked out before we had the
chance to have them inflated. Thankfully, I was wrong. They filled them
all up for us and we went walking with them on our heads.. like
sombreros (and no i didn't spell that right).
We went into one of our secret spots, going to the lake. Everyone, with
a little help from Nichan, were able to get in the rafts and start
rowing around safely. It was extremely amusing to see everybody
fumbling around in the lake, tryinig to get away from dragonflies
mating and stopping themselves from tipping.
All of a sudden, I saw some kind of a flash go off. I looked towards
the bushes trying to detect where it came from. Then, I saw a white hat
and another flash go off. There was a man hiding in the bushes taking
pictures of all of us. I called to Nichan, and he came stepping in
front of me trying to see where the guy was. I pointed and he saw. He
waved to the man, screaming hello trying to get his attention. But the
guy just kept taking pictures and ducked more into the bushes. Rachel
was the first one on the water to notice something was amiss.
Nichan left after a few minutes of watchign the bushes. Yet five
minutes later, he came back saying he wasn't about to leave us while a
psychopath was still there. And it was good, because I had seen a
couple of more flashes, so the guy was probably still there.
Unfortunetly, towards the end of our little boating adventure, Yoly got
a hole in her boat, and as Nichan helped her step out... her entire
butt was soaked. Becky came in as well and Nichan took her boat. Him,
Rachel, and Sandy went swimming all down the lake, while Me, Yoly, and
Becky walked to school. We stored our rafts in DiBlanda's room...
waiting for Monday's adventure... oh i can't wait...
photos shall be updated soon.. hehe.. *laughs* i have three accounts now.. i dink something's wrong with me.
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